Out For Blood


So I nicked my lower lip while shaving this morning.

Well, nothing unusual about that.  I gave it the usual dab with a towel and went on with my day.

Thing is though, I work from home and everyone else in the household has jobs that require them to go places and do things.  You know, what my wife (who also works in an office) calls real jobs.

So I’m basically alone all day except for my dogs.  Who were somewhat lax in informing me that I — probably whilst  chortling indulgently at some amusing peccadillo of the Internet — had repeatedly caused my lip to split open.  I certainly didn’t feel anything.

However, when I went off to the hardware store in the afternoon to get yet more sprinkler parts (yes, that war is still ongoing) I noticed that people there were giving me appalled looks.  Again, nothing unusual about that, but I checked and I had remembered to wear pants this time, so I couldn’t figure out what they were giving me the wary eye for.

Until I got back to the car, where in the process of loading the sprinkler parts I actually caught sight of my own reflection in the side mirror.

I had blood crusted all over my lower lip, with puddled gore running down under my chin and even a few trickles down to my collar.  I looked as though I had been feasting on human brains.

Worse, in fact, because normally when snacking on cervelli umani crudi I am the very model of decorum.

But looking back on it, it did make for a swift and easy time going through checkout.  I’ll have to keep it in mind.

— Bob out.