Heating Things Up
Currently, it is hotter around here than a .44 magnum to the chest cavity. (Oh yeah, high five for Mister Smooth Transition!) 106 degrees today, supposed to be 111 tomorrow. But that’s okay. As required by California State Law, we have a pool.
Technically, the law also requires that we are supposed to have gorgeous young females parading around in skimpy bikinis, because that is what the Board of Tourism wishes to promote; but my wife refuses to let me bring any home. So she will have to do, even though she prefers a one-piece.
They have similar laws in Miami apparently, at least from what we can tell watching Burn Notice. If you’ve ever seen that show, you will have noticed that their transition scenes always involve extremely attractive young ladies in swimsuits parading around by bodies of water.
My wife and I have a theory, based on our experience in the workaday world, that the 2nd Unit director is assigned to film these scenes is probably overweight, pale, and most likely not really into women. This is because one of the basic requirements for any job assignment is that it should be miserable; and thus the person who is hired to go to sweltering sun-baked Miami resorts to film beautiful women parading around in thongs will naturally be the type of person who will find the whole experience to be a total grind.
Someone who sweats a lot, sunburns easily, and isn’t really interested in female hardbodies would be ideal for this purpose. We like to imagine this individual going home to their partner at the end of a long day and collapsing on the couch, calling out for aloe vera, a cool drink, and a boost in the air conditioning. “What a day! Bouncing bronzed boobs and butts for twelve broiling hours! FML!”
As a result, every time one of these transition scenes come on, we burst into laughter. Our poor imaginary 2nd Unit director is practically part of the family by now. As such it’s kind of a shame they’re bringing the series to a close this season. Still, maybe we’ll get lucky and they will write a book. “Seven Years In Hell: My Life Directing Second Unit for Burn Notice.”
I would totally buy it.
— Bob out
Now, just investigate why Yeoman Rand didn’t make it past the first season of the original Star Trek series.
I’ll give you a hint: L.N. was a bachelor, but Spock was a vulcan and the wrong one was watching Yeoman Rand in too many shots.
If poor Max here gets shot once per mission, he’s not going to last very long. The meat flying out of his wound is a nice touch, by the way. He can only lose so much meat before he won’t be able to function very well.
Here is another suggestion, along with the non-metal weapons idea (and besides calibrating the kinetic boost). The full armor he wore in the first mission was too heavy, but he could go in carrying some kind of bulletproof shield. That would protect him for a few moments as he orients himself, and then he can drop it easily if he needs – perhaps bashing a bad guy with it at the same time.
I’m more of a Yeoman Barrows guy myself
Wow, it most certainly is not bullet proof.
No, currently he’s still wearing what is essentially the motocross carbon-fiber protective gear that Madison and Marissa originally used as a framework for the original overbuilt “Hurt Locker” armor. The whole “Crisis Strike” team and technology is still very much a work in progress as they sort out what they need as opposed to what just gets in the way, with the knowledge that their best weapon is Max himself and his freedom to move fast and improvise on the fly. All part of the ongoing storyline.
They should invest in some Dragonscale. It’ll take multiple hits and still flex and move with the wearer.
I like the fact that Max is shown to NOT be the ultimate hand-to-hand fighter. That would have been just a little too ‘pat’.
Of course, this guy’s a professional, so he wasn’t a pushover, but Max expected that… right?
apparently not.
Agreed. Rangers and other Operators don’t have time to all become martial arts gurus. Too many more useful skills they have to master, like multiple types of weapons, tactical movement, environments, multiple means of deployment, navigation, demolitions, communications, etc. They do get some intense training on the subject, and an occasional individual makes it a personal specialty.
Now, if Max had been a navy SEa, Air, and Land special operative (also known as a navy seal), things may have turned out different.
Those guys are trained INTENSIVELY in the hand-to-hand and silent type of killing so they can get into enemy bases without triggering alarms.
On the other side of that same coin, they are also trained to use weaponry that does nothing if not reveal you’re around. A seal squad usually tokes about as much firepower as a standard army company. They just don’t have the ammo for extended firefights.
Almost all perps would have spent enough time in the “what the fuck just happened” phase for Max to do his thing.
Almost all. But not all.
The problem with the job Max is doing is that occasionally he will meet up with opponents like this. We are looking at the result.
That being said, the opponent probably expects Max to go down immediately due to shock and pain. He will not, which might give him back the initiative.
Still, he will need a long recovery from this one, and will probably never regain the full use of his shoulder.
Also, he is leaving a lot of DNA behind. At the previous job that probably didn’t matter, but here it will. (Or so I think)
He will not leave behind any DNA. If I understand the whole ‘teleport thing’ (as the techs explained it), “HE” comes back… ALL of him in however many pieces he is… after three minutes.
Good point, missed that.
It seems like Max may have another weapon that he will have to discover. If there is only one bad guy (or only one left moving), he could grab that guy, hit his button, and both of them get ported back to the lab. Unless the bad guy has Max’s special ability, it would kill the bad guy.
Most comics wouldn’t use this strategy, but this comic seems to be OK with “violent bad guys who kill innocents, just kill em all.”
Nice thought, but nope — the Strike Gate can only retrieve what it sends. Max can’t grab anything and take it back. Even the bullets he gets shot with are left behind.
Even though this page was posted after a previous comment of mine, it still feels like it was made to spite me and my (apparently flawed) logic. I accurately predicted just about everything I had posted, but I thought the body armor was some kinda power armor, but I would seem to have been wrong.
BTW, I thought Steven Seagal was supposed to always be a good guy?
Lol. I was just going to ask if that was Steven!