Max let me add some cool fire to this one.  I’d show you the originals, but they’re on my main computer, which is currently borked.  Fortunately, I have a laptop which can be used for those all-important 3MM and GyreWorld updates, and I do have a recent backup of my files.

Still, a hard drive failure is always a bit disconcerting — rather like having a dangerous stranger suddenly appear in a burst of flame while you are trying to get some evil done.  (How’s that for a segue?)

It’s not like I didn’t have some warning.  The machine had been running slower and slower, and the Finder would choke on minor searches, giving me the Spinning Beach Ball for minutes at a time.  Converting AVCHD video files into something remotely editable took forever.

And to top it off Apple kept sending me messages saying things like “Hey! Your 2010 iMac has known issues with the hard drive!  We’ll replace the drive for free!  Just bring it in!” But of course I would ignore these, because I had work to do, dammit. Besides, I had a nice arrangement of armed female action figurines hotglued to the top.  One does not lightly desecrate such effort.

But finally the computer, in a petulant fit of stubborness, stopped working altogether.  I tried all the usual fixes recommended in the Guy User Guide: powering it off and on a bunch of times, smacking it on the back, smacking it on the side, and Leaving It Off For A While And Then Coming Back In And Turning It On Real Casually While Pretending Not To Look.  Surprisingly, none of these things got me anything more than the perpetually spinning beachball.  I began to hate that beachball.

Now, I do know a very good Mac technician, but as it happens he is also the artist for this comic, and I have been trying to wangle a cover for the 3 Minute Max Volume One Graphic Novel out of him for weeks so I can get it off to the printers. He’s already been wasting way too much time doing nonstop commercial storyboards for major product lines that pay him vastly more than I do. So I wasn’t about to give him an excuse to slack off even more by fixing my computer.

Instead, I decided to take Apple up on their offer.  All I had to do was fill out a form, including the computer’s serial number.

Dear Apple:

The serial number on the base of my iMac is much too large and easy to read. Could you possibly make it smaller? Also, I appreciate your efforts in randomly scattering the letter “O” and the number “0” in there, but I do think you could work a little harder at making them even more identical-looking. Thanks so much!


A Raging Fanboi

Fortunately, I have a number of reading glasses, and by stacking several on top of each other I was finally able to make the number legible. It did mean tipping the machine over on its face, which dislodged all my armed female figurines into an orgy of impossible anatomy, skimpy clothing, and weaponry.  I decided to leave them like that for further perusal.

But the machine itself is now off with its makers, theoretically being repaired.  Max sent some rough art for the cover, which looks fantastic.

And I have decided I want a beachball. To set on fire.

— Bob out