Marissa knows a good internet scrubbing means getting rid of all those annoying, disgusting stains. By haptic overload if necessary.
I hope you like your colors richly saturated, because Max-The-Artist went all out on this page. Occasionally there are pages that are just made for a backlit medium, and this is one of them. It was all his design too; I had written the thing but I’d been worried that a one-sided hacking war would be visually uninteresting, even if I threw in some sparks. I should have known better. When he sent over the rough, I immediately knew we’d be skipping the balloons for most of this page. Instead, I asked Max to color the words; make them enhance the art rather than cover it up. And he did.
Patreon has the page in larger size and higher resolution here. Patrons got to see it a day early, but since it’s a pretty page, we’ve made it visible to all now.
New July Vote Incentive!
And if you’d like the full-rez, 3200 x 1800 original image, you can find that here!
And more below!
Bobservations
Technobattle
The scenes on this page may be exaggerated, but I swear they are eerily similar to how I feel almost every day. And all I’m doing is trying to use the Internet for information. Despite my belief that websites should be permitted to monetize their content if possible, I reluctantly installed an adblocker just because so many of them were going way too far in assaulting me with popups, overlays, subscription demands, and those infuriating auto-playing videos. I don’t mind banner ads, even the animated ones; and when I find a site that I can trust not to attack me with anything interactive, I’ll whitelist it. (The Washington Post, for instance, is generally reasonable in its advertising.) And since I use Comic Rocket to read webcomics, I have the Comic Rocket site whitelisted, which extends that same courtesy to all the webcomic sites I visit through the app.
But good lord, some of the clickbait I fall for is aggressive in its assault, and even manages to launch an overlay past the adblocker in many cases. I take a certain amount of pleasure in doing the “block element” routine in those cases, even if I’ve lost interest in the article and never plan to visit the site again. It generally means a number of steps; teaching the adblocker to block the “curtain,” and then the “overlay,” and usually some other element as well, but I feel like if they are going to be dicks, I’m going to be a dick. And I’ve been gradually training Google News not to show me anything from the Wall Street Journal at all.
Even Google News itself becomes a cautious struggle, because Google, in its effort to be “helpful,” keeps track of the sites I visit and the searches I conduct and even terms used in my email. The problem is, I’m a writer, and sometimes I’ll need quick reference on something like “Sawney Bean” just so I can get an approximate time period; but the next thing I know Google News is helpfully showing me all sorts of news stories on mass murder and cannibalism. Unh-uh. Even worse is that I’m currently helping develop a series presentation based on the human immune system, and if I don’t remember to do all my research in “Incognito Mode,” the next time I open Google News I’m likely to be confronted with ghastly images of deformed infants and Google cheerfully explaining “You’ve shown interest in the Zika Virus.” No no no no no…
On another front, my computer’s operating system keeps nagging me to upgrade, though if I do so it will no longer function with the legacy third-party software I need for business. And even this webcomic uses WordPress and a few plugins, all of which are constantly being changed, improved, and generally “fixed” in ways that may or may not actually break the site if I dare push the “update” button. Stop it stop it stop it…
(Oh – well whaddya know? The comic posted 90 minutes late because the latest WP/Jetpack/whatever update seems to have borked the “Scheduled Post” widget. Arrgh.)
Yeah, I feel somewhat under siege. Long gone are the days when I could feel the stress of the day melting away as I sank into the loving embrace of the Internet. Now the Web is its own source of stress, even though it is faster, slicker, and better in every way. I haven’t had sparks fly out of my computer yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Especially if I don’t keep my Flash plugin up to date.
— Bob the Luddite
No matter how good you are, there is always the possibility of someone better than you. And when you’re sure that there isn’t, she doesn’t have to actually be better; she just has to be close enough and prepare better. Although habitually preparing better isn’t that different to actually being better…
Bob, just uninstall Flash. Force all sites to use HTML5 they want to show you anything. Adobe is a hackneyed antiquated bloated piece of software. Their continual patching isn’t going to make it better only worse. Then there’s all the other Adobe products which wants you to update by downloading these massive binaries that they compare against the original source for their upgrades, but you can’t apply only the latest, you need to apply them all in order. I gave up when onepatch series exceeded the initial installation by a factor of 4. Adobe I do not want to share my content online through you!
I looked up how to block the Windows 10 updates so it would stop harassing me to update to an OS I’d rather take a bullet to the knee than ever use.
It could be worse. I made the mistake of leaving my laptop up when one of my younger relatives came by, and they clicked the “Yes, autoinstall 10” button. I can now make a pitcher of iced tea in the time it takes the computer to boot up.
Fortunately, my tech is back from vacation this week, so he can make the uninstall and restore function actually function.
Actually its very easy now to uninstall. They sneaked in an auto update feature back in march this year which was in on a normal update. If you clicked X out or even doing an overnight update it would auto install. Depending on the speed of your pc (I have a fast gaming rig and took less than 10 minutes, this is what you do but don’t leave it as after a month you can only do it with a full reinstall).
If you’ve upgraded a PC to Windows 10 — not performed a clean install, but an upgrade — you’ll have an easy option that lets you revert to the last version of Windows. To access this, open the Start menu and select Settings. Click the “Update & security” icon and select “Recovery.”
You should see a “Go back to Windows 7” or “Go back to Windows 8.1” option. Click the Get started button to get rid of your Windows 10 install and restore your previous Windows install. Microsoft will ask you why you want to go back.
If it’s been over a month — or if you’ve run the Disk cleanup tool and removed the “Previous Windows installations” files or deleted the C:\Windows.old folder by hand — you’ll no longer see this option. Windows 10 appears to automatically remove the old Windows installation files after a month to free up space.
Get shot of the damn 10, I tried it out on my 2nd pc I use just for watching films and tv in bed and its awful. Looks nice but made it run slow as hell as my gods the new IE it forces you to use is slower than me and I use a walking stick!
My Windows 10 install boots up in seconds. Don’t know why yours is so hefty.
I have Windows 10 and updated. Then again… I had Windows 8 before upgrading. This IS an improvement; I no longer live in fear of my mouse sliding too far too the right and then the tablet menu opening up because what do you mean this isn’t a phone.
Before that I had Vista on my previous computer. And… I actually didn’t mind it. It had problems, but it WORKED. I couldn’t say that about 8.
Though to be honest, the REAL problem is that Bill Gates is no longer in charge of Microsoft. A lot of people hated his guts in the 90s, and that was just pure jealousy at him for being rich. Fact is, he was a visionary – he made computers accessible, something everyone could actually use. He UNDERSTOOD user interface, and making it something that even a functionally illiterate moron could use. Now… now MS is run by people who think “well, we’ve got market dominance, so who cares about what the customers want?”
Goatseye, Skeez, Shart…
Hm.
I got tired of Windows pestering me to go to 10 also. When it got to the point it was bugging me four times a day to upgrade I’d had enough and installed GWX Control Panel. With that I was able to remove all Win10 download files, the pestering app, and set a monitor to alert me if microsoft puts more win10 files on my machine. Haven’t had a peep about Win10 since.
http://ultimateoutsider.com/downloads/ for the program and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57qmJRgbmlY for a YT video showing what does what. Good luck and loving the comic!
(That guy’s name, Goatseye? That a joke reference to goatse? If not, and you don’t know what that is, lucky you. Do not google what cannot be unseen. O.O
Oh, I am well too aware of goatse. However, I was writing the actual script when that news report came out regarding the discovery that goat eyes rotate to stay horizontal when they raise and lower their heads, and goat eyes are freaky looking anyway (and look vaguely satanic). So I figured a hacker might meld all those reasons into a handle for himself.
Um, why did that nerd’s computer explode? I know almost nothing about computers, and even in a fantasy world like this one I don’t think that’s possible :-\
It’s called Hollywood special effects override the laws of physics and credulity – well maybe no credulity since the TSA believes everything that shows up in a movie or TV show. [ yes that includes a ball Bering with the word BOMB welded to it ]
And besides, I have an excuse to make more sparks.
Yeah, that’s actually the only thing that… feels a little off on this page.
Otherwise I LURRRVE it – composition, colored lettering without bubbles, dark setting & highly saturated colors (AND especially the last panel being just a little bit lighter than the rest) – GREAT!!!
(And now I wonder what’s the worst thing one could theoretically do to another PC of whatever kind via a remote connection. According to my actual knowledge: Perhaps brick it by re-flashing its BIOS with some garbage. Mmmmaybe fry the processor by turning up all voltages to the limits of the MoBo… But none of that should create visible effects like this…)
Well, if it’s already overclocked, to settings just short of melting down, then any tampering of it’s settings could trip it up explosively, just not that flashily.
Not sure about a desktop computer, but your typical laptop, tablet, or smartphone could do that – or worse. That’s because lithium-ion batteries are highly reactive in the wrong conditions, and store a lot of potential energy in a rather small space. Short-circuit the battery, and you’ll get a rather spectacular reaction.
Fortunately for us all, major manufacturers have extra safety measures placed in batteries, hence why battery mishaps are usually very rare. The problems arise when you have shoddy manufacturing – see the so-called “hoverboard” for a recent example.
These built-in safety measures could probably thwart this kind of remote attack – the battery will automatically shut off if the current gets too high, for instance.
I have no concrete knowledge of this being possible but it seems to me shutting down the temp sensors and shutting off the fans (and or water pump) on a super system could get you something like this although you would think they would smell the insulation melting before the wires shorted out .
As for goats yes they are creepy and theirs eyes look wrong and track funny. However pygmy one are pretty adorable.
The name’s Marissa punk………………
REMEMBER IT
Yipe, Max, those translucent yellow glasses must’ve been a task!
Hi Joe, yes pretty much everything about this page was a PITA but it came together in the end, thank goodness
> Now the Web is its own source of stress, even though it is faster, slicker, and better in every way.
Hmm, for me it’s getting slower and slower.
That aside, I have been more radical: I use another search engine (Startpage), banned google completely and only un-ban it for some minutes when Startpage doesn’t give satisfactory results. Then NoScript (which gets rid of a lot of autoplay stuff since they use scripts to do the autoplaying) and that’s it. Of course some page don’t work on first sight, then some some sites must be allowed to run scripts, but if it’s too much or it’s still not there after the 3rd round of allowing, then “good riddance, page”.
I hear ya, Bob: “Welcome to the Internet, wave of the future. Now we will ask you about your penis a million times.”
Marissa is so sexy when she’s smug! 🙂
Underestiimated the powers of the Sith you have.
I cracked up at the “behind seven proxies!” Could not stop laughing.
“I’m behind seven proxies!”
I see what you did there….
Just wait till the truck carrying the four tons of purple strap-ons he just purchased arrives.
I thought he would be more into Pony strap on wear with a box load of butt plug horse tails.
Though with a name like that, he might just be more into playing things like Goat S(t)imulator while watching Black Sheep.
Ah, Marissa….You gorgeous Computer geek. Maybe next time Goatbreath will use Eight (8) proxies and make it more challenging. 😉
I can hope that the next page is at UD3, and someone off-frame is saying ‘No way. Nobody is that good. Nobody’ as smoke wafts into the panel
I believe that if you subscribe, some of your WSJ issues shall be ameliorated … at least mine are quite manageable.
Exploitative? Perhaps from our perspective (from theirs, hey, they will make money off content one way or the other), but it seems to work for me>
Also, for medical research, get a membership in a medical library and do your searches through their platform. That’ll stop Google news, et alia.
As an IT major I find “Goateye”‘s proclamation of “SEVEN PROXIES!!!” hilarious. Proxies? Psh, please 7 is just as good as one, and one is as good as 0. In other words this guy is clearly a scrub and overclocking his CPU to overheat would be hella easy.
“Yes! I am in-WIN-cible!”