“Striking Sparks” — Page Twelve
It’s not piracy if the NSA does it.
More below!
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Bobservations
Kick-Ass Females
I, personally, have never had the shit kicked out of me by a woman, but hey — hope springs eternal!
Certainly I have met women that I suspect could do it. Stuntwomen and martial arts instructors, mainly, although there’s a Zumba instructor who hikes the same trail I do that looks like she could take me apart if necessary. She keeps her distance though, as I am generally protected by a pair of Fierce Wiener Dogs.
And while I doubt that either Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson are quite as tough as they have been portrayed in recent movies, I’m fairly certain that someone like Gina Carano could cripple me in moments.
But I never get that lucky.
No, I get plenty of defeat and humiliation at the hands of women, but it’s all from the psychological end. Scary Bank Ladies. Dental hygienists. Siblings. Nieces. And my own wife, who on occasion will start to look tight-lipped about something and when I ask her what is wrong, she replies “Nothing.” In that tone of voice.
You know the one.
At the moment, I am being bullied by Roseann, my accountant. She wants me to fill out my tax preparation forms, and she intends to make my life hell until I do it.
Now, I don’t mind paying taxes (well, actually, I do, I’m not crazy, but I don’t feel like I’m being unfairly picked on or anything) but I don’t understand why I have to deal with all the paperwork. Every dime I make (both of them!) is reported before I even see it. The government already knows all that information. I know they do, because if I make a mistake and forget to report something, they immediately pounce like tigers and soak me not only for the amount, but also additional interest and penalties. Ka-Ching!
I’d wonder why they don’t just take all that information they already have, ram it through a computer, and send me the result along with an invoice, but I guess I just answered my own question.
Besides, Roseann would get mad, and nobody wants that. Especially me.
So enjoy the comic. Me, I’m gonna go party like it’s 1099-K.
— Bob out
He’s really underestimating the three-letter-agencies. Any of them could still have done it. If they are even remotely competent, the first thing they would do upon being exposed is demand a copy of the “mysterious” video. (We know they didn’t do it, I’m just saying his logic is flawed)
Also, “Hunky men with superpowers” is redundant – virtually all people with superpowers are good looking. Nobody knows why.
And there’s the hitch:
FBI Checks Wrong Box, Places Student on No-Fly List
Well, there’s The Thing, The Blob, and Nightcrawler, but those are all Marvel. In DC there’s almost no ugly heroes.
And yeah, if I were one of those mysterious three-letter-agencies, and I had gotten caught with one of my men teleporting, I, too, would be asking for a copy of the tape to deflect suspicion.
You forgot the incredible Hulk, who is also from Marvel and (in my opinion) is TOO muscle-bound to be a ‘hunk’. Besides, he needs a little more horse-power between the ears (which is NOT a common problem in Marvel or DC).
To tell you the truth, I’m trying to remember even one DC hero or heroine who didn’t look just simply too good to be true. I know there must be one…
THERE MUST BE!!!
Any male member of the Inferior Five (except the Yellow Feather) but that’s a joke comic. Hmm, How about the Ape from Angel and the Ape? No? Then I can only think of one, Metamorpho.
I have no idea who the inferior five is, though it is obviously a play on Marvel’s Fantastic four.
Angel and the Ape? it that a new comic?
Metamorpho? It’s he one of Spidey’s villains? My mistake, I was thinking of Mephisto.
I forgot about Metamorpho! Probably the only ugly hero in D.C. Um, besides The Creeper. But The Creeper… ew.
Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing was hideous. There was a DC and a Marvel version, I seem to recall.
There were some ugly good guys in DredStar.
>> It’s not piracy if the NSA does it.
We are privateers
I always thought that the standard motive operandi for intelligence agencies was to confiscate all fiscal and digital evidence, detain everyone who viewed it and then bury it all behind a cover story. It’s nice in this universe they ask instead of take.
My thoughts exactly: Even if they didn’t do it, they would send men in black and confiscate even the player and the whole security system that recorded the video. Most likely without giving any explanation short of “national security”.
(And frankly, if I was in their place and would learn about someone with apparent super powers, I would do the same. Well, I would just confiscate the videos and make them swear not to tell anybody, not even another agency. This could be a Roswell-class incident. Keeping all of it out of public knowledge and having the information advantage would be VERY valuable.)
NHS?
What does that stand for? National Headache Society?
grrrrOWL! Dammit, my bad; I handle the text. Typo — that was supposed to be DHS. I’ll try to jerry-rig a fix in PShop.
I guess that makes a bit more sense. I just assumed that the National Health Service (public healthcare in the UK) was interested in his amazing medical abilities.
In a manner of speaking, he DOES have a ‘above-average’ power, or an ‘out-of-the-ordinary’ ability, though our cute and sassy detective doesn’t know it.
what else would you call the ability to stop your heart from beating when your in danger of bleeding to death?
Parlour Trick? Interesting Diversion? A plot point for a Tale of the Mildly Interesting?
It kept him from dying when anybody else on earth without that ability would have died. I’d say that’s a bit more than a Parlour Trick.
(Also, if you test people’s ability to not bleed to death as a parlour trick, remind me to stay far, far away from your parlour! yikes!)
I was thinking less blood loss, more having a stethoscope against the chest of a living man without a heart beat.
OK, I suppose that *would* be a safer and somewhat less sadistic test. Not quite as exciting though.
I have to laugh every time I see somebody express surprise or desire about a female being more than just a pushover when it comes to anything violent.
Females (at least human females) tend to be 20% stronger pound-for-pound than males. They are ALSO quicker (better reflexes) and have better senses. These are just generalizations; but as the saying goes, every rule has exceptions and the exceptions prove the rule.
Women have power and they learn MUCH earlier than men how to use that power and the limits to the use.
I am writing a series of books and in the books, the most dangerous people (whether it be thru violence or not) are female more often than male.
Perhaps, but pound-for-pound, and ant is 100 times as strong as a human. My money is still on the human every time. Generally, it’s raw strength that counts. Now, if the woman were bitten by a radioactive ant, and gained awesome antlike superpowers, that might be a different story.
perhaps, but you aren’t going to convince me she is as helpless as everybody portrays her (in general, that is).
it is true that she may need a little training to work around her disadvantage (of less raw strength); but women are more used to using their heads than men are (ask any woman, LOL).
In truth, both genders have advantages and disadvantages in such a confrontation. It would boil down to who can use that advantage best. Unfortunately, the woman has to forget ‘her place’ in society to truly use hers, but pity whomever gets in her way when she does.
If you’re using the training excuse/route .. Men can get training too. I don’t think men or women are any more intelligent / used to using their brains. There are far too many variables to be making the sweeping generalizations you are.. 🙁
I’ve reached the end of the archives. I want more now please k thank you? (Hopeful puppy look)
Or more seriously — wow, you have a hell of a comic here. Loved it so far, can’t wait to see what you have up next!
Thanks so much! So glad to have you reading. And I believe Max is industriously coloring the next page even now!
That’s just want they WANT you to think.
Duuuuuuuuuuh